A new perspective is really more of the old
by Ranil on Jul.02, 2008
I spent a lot of the last week or so in a state of fugue. Walking around but not really accepting where I was. It took a few final words and a semblance of an exit plan in order to really begin to make myself function again.
In going through a few old files, my sister came across a binder of mine that contained printouts of the Vacuum Diagrams newsletter I once put out. What funny things we once were. Me and my sultry crew of post-teenage angst writers. Were we good? Were we bad? That’s more for others to decide. I’ll let you decide.
I took the liberty of re-reading some of my old works and have come to the realization that after all this time it’s more of the same. Almost 10 years later and a lot of things still hold evident and a lot of things are completely different. There differences between the me then and the me now is that now, I only think I’m smarter. I lost a few to the wayside and I’ve forgotten the names, but never the faces. I’m here because I’m here because I’m here.
Today is a good day. A shift in perspective. A new way of seeing things that need to be seen. A few breaths because that’s all that it really comes down to. A cigarette, a cup of coffee, and the whole world waiting out there.
Sometimes future prepping doesn’t work. Sometimes the past is where you need to go to recover. Sometimes all it takes is a few good friends and a few cups of coffee. Sometimes it’s a drink and sometimes just forgetting where you need to be. In the end we all live life of differing perspectives and moments within the vacuum.
So I bid good bye to this chapter of my life and look forward to the remaining few that the future holds. It was a good ride. Enjoy the Vacuum Diagrams and hopefully you’ll find as much laughter in reading them as I did. We were all stupid once, we’re only masking it better these days.
Acknowledgements:
I’d really like to thank the following for helping with the Vacuum Diagrams all those years ago. Sorry it’s so late, but I just got around to do so.
- Helen Te
- Michelle Silla
- John Potapenko
- Jason Bettinger
- Elisha Bettinger
- The faceless many
July 3rd, 2008 on 1:59 pm
you’ve got a type-o in there… ironically… it’s the word “there.”
Anyway, just wanted to say, “Finally.” I’ve been trying to tell you this for some time now… and guess I just had to wait… for a long time… but anyway… you’re here… for now. We’ll see… or I’ll see ya… in 10 yrs. hehe. Thanks too.
p.s. you should play an old song… or that Green Day “Whatshername”? And if I had a type-o in here… it’s cool… cause it’s just a comment.
July 3rd, 2008 on 2:32 pm
@hel: Thanks for the irony.. i’m borrowing Ian’s Zune right now and rocking all the oldies on it. In 10 years my plans for world domination may actually start taking fruition..
July 3rd, 2008 on 4:36 pm
I was just thinking about malt shakes today. It’s bloody hot out here! 105 degrees!!!
My life has turned a new leaf, yet I’m the same old worm underneath.
Was it “Josie”?
July 8th, 2008 on 9:30 am
@Michelle: well, who would’ve ever thought we’d end up here? Glad to see you’re still around Mich..