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So what do you do while LA burns down around you? If you’re anything like us then you’ll go out and sing badly in front of a bunch of drunken strangers. This weeks activity finds us in the city I love to hate – Burbank. Aside from the smoking ticket I got long ago from them they are home to the Burbank Bar and Grill which has “Karaoke Night” every Thursday and Sunday.

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A big thank you goes out to the Burbank Police Department and Courthouse for figuring out how to royally screw people who come to visit Burbank. Yesterday Ian and I had to take care of that smoking ticket given to us by the helpful people of the Burbank PD and their efforts to curb dangerous crime (like smoking). And yes, we had to go to court, unlike a traffic ticket we are required to actually show up to court simply because the court likes to see our faces (and charge us a hefty assessment for using their services). After sitting in court for what seemed ages and them getting my name wrong, you get your chance to stand in front of the judge (I decided to represent myself) and he asks what do you plead. You stand up straight and with your most pleasant sounding voice say “guilty your honor”.. and what happens next? He drops it down to an infraction (because a misdeameanor for smoking in public just seems ridiculous right?) and then he charges you a $50 dollar fine. And just for kicks and giggles decides that its in his best interest to charge you an assessment too which brings the glorious total to… $200.

Well fuck you too Burbank. Thank you for the swell times. I won’t be coming back any time soon. Enjoy yourselves and enjoy my $200 bucks. Like a hooker that you wake up next to in the morning and realize has the most hideous face, you so weren’t worth it.

Well this has been a pretty crummy week.. first my car, then my suit.. and the final topper – a big fuck you from the Burbank PD to me and my fellow smokers.. well thank you for that.. i’m being treated like a criminal for an act that is entirely legal… in fact you can buy cigarettes at the local convenience stores but not smoke them?.. WTF?… well great.. i hate you too burbank… i’m getting my car fixed… and my suit.. well.. i’m hoping that it can be fixed.. but probably not.. but at least i have the love of the city of burbank burning warmly in my heart…

I hate the fact that california has become such a nanny state.. i pay taxes… fuck i pay a lot of taxes.. and i pay taxes on a product i can barely use.. we say certain people can’t marry and a bunch of other dumb laws put in place under the guises of public care.. wow.. it’s beginning to suck a lot ain’t it.. and so while the police couldn’t even come out to my house when my car was broken into, but can make sure they’re protecting us from the evils of the smoking i guess california’s in good hands.. i just hope that my fine goes to something useful, like giving a councilman a nice raise or making burbank an even “nicer” place to hang out at.. and as the sun rises.. i should get some sleep.. because.. you know.. i need to get my car fixed..