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Ah, the joys of relapsing. It makes one feel so worthless and almost as stupid as the guy who wanted to return the money he stole for the wallet he left behind. Yes, relapsing is never good. So, I must find solace wherever I can. Lately that’s been in my routine. A routine you say? Yes. The guy who never makes plans is now sticking to a routine. It goes as follows. Run 1 mile in the morning, eat right throughout the day, then run 1 – 2 miles in the evening along with a mild workout to tone the muscles but not bulk up. As of week 2 (yes I started this last week and forgot to blog about it) I’m still sticking with it.

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Ahh Jericho, we hardly knew you. Well, sad to say another one of the few shows I watch on television has been canceled. I don’t watch much television these days. The few shows I did enjoy were either canceled or have ended their runs. I can never take Fox seriously now simply because they cancel every show I get into and keep the shows that dumb down Americans – hooray for reality television!

My problem lately has been a lack of things to say. I take it back – a lack of anything new to say. I could write about my nostalgia of an easier, more simple time but that I’ve said ad nauseam. I try to write about things that interest me, things I read in the news or things that pop into my head but I fear that I’m losing something in the translation. I’ve become a bad story teller and I’ve lost my way with words. I forget I’m writing for an audience and start writing simply the things that come into my head. And I think that methodology is beginning to fail me. I’ve lost touch with the way my life was supposed to work.

Perhaps it’s many things – the newness of it all is still settling in. I’m disconcerted with the distance that I’m feeling with my friends and family but at the same trying to find a place in my life that can accommodate it all. I’m putting things aside in the hopes of a different future. Of a future that will help me grow out of the things that haunt my past. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to give up all of the things of my past, I just need to find a way to let my past meet my future and become something of a more solid present. But in the end who am I to say what I’m doing is right. I will probably look back at this a year from now and laugh at my own stupidity. I mean, what else can I do “… get jobs in offices and wake up for the morning commute?”.