Nulledge.net

A big thank you goes out to the Burbank Police Department and Courthouse for figuring out how to royally screw people who come to visit Burbank. Yesterday Ian and I had to take care of that smoking ticket given to us by the helpful people of the Burbank PD and their efforts to curb dangerous crime (like smoking). And yes, we had to go to court, unlike a traffic ticket we are required to actually show up to court simply because the court likes to see our faces (and charge us a hefty assessment for using their services). After sitting in court for what seemed ages and them getting my name wrong, you get your chance to stand in front of the judge (I decided to represent myself) and he asks what do you plead. You stand up straight and with your most pleasant sounding voice say “guilty your honor”.. and what happens next? He drops it down to an infraction (because a misdeameanor for smoking in public just seems ridiculous right?) and then he charges you a $50 dollar fine. And just for kicks and giggles decides that its in his best interest to charge you an assessment too which brings the glorious total to… $200.

Well fuck you too Burbank. Thank you for the swell times. I won’t be coming back any time soon. Enjoy yourselves and enjoy my $200 bucks. Like a hooker that you wake up next to in the morning and realize has the most hideous face, you so weren’t worth it.