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photo credit: Thomas Hawk

Lately I’ve been doing things in an attempt to make myself into the person I need to become. A chance to be a better person. It was a difficult road getting here and somethings were harder to do than others – some in the end were easier than I thought. My Something New was about finding things that would better me and find things that I could be interested in. It was meant to broaden my horizons. So, I think the next step in all of this is to do something I never thought I could.

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I spent a lot of the last week or so in a state of fugue. Walking around but not really accepting where I was. It took a few final words and a semblance of an exit plan in order to really begin to make myself function again.

In going through a few old files, my sister came across a binder of mine that contained printouts of the Vacuum Diagrams newsletter I once put out. What funny things we once were. Me and my sultry crew of post-teenage angst writers. Were we good? Were we bad? That’s more for others to decide. I’ll let you decide.

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What do you do when life’s got you down and work puts the screws to you? Why, take a few days off and grab a nice traditional Filipino breakfast to help you regroup. If the greasiness alone doesn’t pick you up, knowing that the cholesterol in your arteries rises a few points is bound to make you feel a bit better.

As many of you know, I’ve been a little down lately. I’m getting to the point where it’s better now, but I struggle with it every now and then. Sometimes, things don’t go as planned – or hell, even as expected – but in the end, we find a way to make it work. You put things behind you and realize that in the end, it was probably how it was meant to be.

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photo credit: wishymom

At twenty seven I still haven’t learned anything new from the time I was twenty five. I’m older now, but I still make the same mistakes I did then. A warm thank you to those of you who wished me a “Happy Birthday” and a “… you’ll get me next year” to those who didn’t. My life didn’t necessarily turn out the way I thought it would, but I’m exactly where I need to be.